Maybe I'm just having a bad day, or maybe my depression is getting the best of me, but so far I'm hating it here in Kalamazoo. I'm beyond lonely and I absolutely can't wait until this year is over and I don't have to live here anymore. There's no point in leaving my apartment because there's nobody to go anywhere and do fun stuff with. So basically I'm in class all day and then I come home to study alone in my apartment. This place will never feel like home, especially with most of my friends at least 2 hours away and my family 3 hours away. They say home is where the heart is and my heart is in Midland and Big Rapids.
I'm also hating P3 year so far. I've had a full week of classes so I've kinda gotten the gist of what everything's going to be like (except tests because I haven't had one yet). There are so many presentations this year and it's really freaking me out. I'm terrible at speaking in front of people. There's also so many pre-class assignments and readings that I can't even keep track! I thought having a planner would help, but it doesn't help because I'm having so much trouble even finding assignments all throughout Ferris Connect. It's so confusing and I'm probably going to miss some deadlines this semester. My attention span also hasn't improved at all. Even as I write this I should be studying. That was the intention for today, but so far it's not going so well.
It's Labor Day weekend and I don't have class again until Tuesday afternoon. I should be having some fun, right? Wrong. I decided not to go home in order to force myself to get caught up on classwork and possibly even get ahead on a couple of things. I'm an idiot. I'm sitting here in my apartment alone, crying, writing a blog in an attempt to get it all out of my head.......this sucks so bad I can't even explain it.
That's my week in a nutshell - an "I hate my life" kind of week. If anyone figures out a way to switch lives with someone else, please let me know!
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