just walk away

I'll admit it, I have a huge problem with holding onto unnecessary emotions. And it's taking a toll on me. I feel so worn out and indecisive. Sometimes it happens when I argue with people, and then I keep thinking for hours afterwards about what I should have said, how it could have gone differently, what will happen next, etc. Sometimes it happens when I'm trying to analyze how people will react to whatever decision I make next - I never want to make people mad cuz tension upsets me so much, but I never know what little things will set people off! I need to stop living my life based on how people may or may not react, it's driving me crazy! Today the clinging to emotions happened when I took my Med Chem final. I feel so defeated and like a giant failure. But there's absolutely nothing I can do about it now. It's done, I just have to wait and see how it turns out. Unfortunately, I'm pretty much incapable of walking away from a situation and saying "It's done, time to let it go." Doesn't happen. So I'm kinda still freaking out about how bad the test was, and going over in my mind what will happen if I actually fail the class. That'd be humiliating. I've never actually failed out of a class EVER. Tests, sure, but not a whole class! And then I'd have to retake it this summer, which would be both embarassing and torture b/c I already spent last summer here and it sucked. Ugh, ok, trying to refocus. I don't have time to dance these circles in my head, I still have 2 more finals to pass! Alright, back to studying.