unfortunate frustrations

I hate it when home, the place I go to get away from frustrations, becomes the frustration. I love my family, but they're being difficult. So, half of the reason I came home this weekend was to hear my former pastor Dave Stout speaking because he was awesome and I missed him & his wife. And I thought my family would be just as excited that he was coming back. Especially Mom because she left the church due to our current pastor's incessant sports references and contemporary style. Yeah, they just didn't care. I fully understand not going to church if you get very little sleep, but as of right now they've all gone to bed in time to get a full 8 hours and still have time to get ready for 2nd service. So basically I'm surprised that they just don't want to see Pastor Stout, and it sucks that they definitely don't see how it's depressing to me that I have to go to church by myself every time. (Side note: Dad is the exception to this blog; I have no problems with him right now unless he gives his cold virus to me. Then we'd have a BIG problem. Chemo test + viral infection = EPIC FAIL!) Anywho, it's just sad that our "Christian" family doesn't even go to church together when we have the opportunity. So, even as I finish surfing the net and get ready for bed, I still haven't decided if I'm even gonna go tomorrow. Guess we'll see how I'm feeling when my alarm goes off in the morning.

Secondly, I'm frustrated with myself for hoping that Chrissy and I would get along really well this weekend. I mean, I get that we're not uber close and don't have tons of stuff in common, but it still hits me every time we see each other that our personalities are polar opposites. I don't expect us to be the kind of sisters who are best friends, but that doesn't make it suck any less when within the first 5 minutes of seeing me this weekend she already managed to hurt my feelings. I was telling her how I wanted to name my cat Jasper, like from Twilight - see previous blog for background story - and she just goes, "well, you just killed that name for me". Yeah, awesome Chris, that's a happy statement to start off our time together. She doesn't get that her words affect people, even the simple statements like that. And after living with me her whole life I guess I thought she'd learned that I'm a sensitive person and things like that rub me the wrong way. I'm not trying to turn this into a huge argument or anything, it's just a downer that I really didn't need right now.

[Yes, Chrissy, I realize you can read this blog. But I don't care because it's my place to vent my true feelings. It's better if I write it all out so it doesn't circulate in my head all night, and this way I won't take it out on you when I see you in the morning.]

Happy thoughts to end the blog:

• I'm still Riley's favorite! I love the fact that pets have no memory and just love you unconditionally every time you see them.
• Mom is in love with my Chemotherapeutics textbook and wants to read it for fun, which I find pretty darn hilarious!
• Dad gets dumb ideas when he's on cold meds - he wanted to call Chrissy last night to ask her if she was drunk yet. Good grief. lol.
• Super Bowl party tomorrow! I appreciate social events even more as the semesters go by and Pharmacy school continues to try and suck out my soul.
• I made dinner tonight and it tasted frickin' amazing! Yep, Bruschetta Chicken Bake, the recipe is on the back of the Stove Top stuffing (for chicken) box if you want it. lol. (I recommend adding cream of chicken soup & pre-cooking the chicken.)